Defying the god Spielberg


Monday, May 24, 2010


You have to wonder about Shia LaBeouf’s fate after he crossed the line and criticized Steven Spielberg and George Lucas, who are provoked more easily than the Greek gods they resemble.

            LaBelouf, unfortunately, follows in the footsteps of others, who like Prometheus risk a future eternity in hell for simply being honest.

            I remember the poor fool who played a Russian dancer in one scene in Crystal Skull, whose career came close to expiring because he dared to talk to his small town newspaper about his experiences working in “a Spielberg movie.”

            I interviewed several budding actors during the shoot of WOTW and eventually had to kill the stories or change the names because they feared Spielberg would destroy their careers

            You have to wonder how much worse Spielberg feels about me after my romp through his War of the World sets and how much I gave away of the plot before the film came out (not to mention all the words I’ve expired on him in the way of criticism and film I’ve dedicated to teasing him – one does not tease gods and go unscathed). Even giants like Tom Cruise angered Spielberg.

Pissing off Spielberg is one of my favorite pre-occupations, but largely because he CAN be pissed off. I like taunting gods like Spielberg because it thrills me to think such monuments would feel threatened by gnats like me – which is why I do Spielberg parody films and other such nonsense.

            When I toured the sets of War of the Worlds in late 2004 and early 2005, I was stunned by the secrecy imposed, notices on the walls and such, and the fact that only a handful of the most trust worthy were allowed to see the whole script.

            Some scripts aren’t worth seeing in advance. This is true of Crystal Skull. I expected better from the script man who gave us Angels in America.

            All this said, of course, is that I have no career Spielberg can destroy. I write because I love writing, not because I believe I will ever obtain greatness. I do films because they are fun to do. I wring music and sing, not because I am good at them, but because I want to and nobody can stop me.

            I also never signed any agreements with Spielberg not to disclose information. Had Spielberg asked me to stop, I would have stopped. This is basic courtesy.

LaBelouf is faced with a serious dilemma: to be artistically honest and accept the fact that his performance in Crystal Skull left a lot to be desired or risk the wrath of the God Spielberg, who takes good talent, gives them crap to work with, and then seems surprised when the end product is still crap.