Body armor

 

June 16, 1982

 

Who is she really?

†Can she be defined?

The more I talk with her, the more dents I find in the armor Iíve built around her.

This is my fault Ė being so self-absorbed as to believe every body thinks the way I do Ė when they donít.

I always though I had her pegged, and assumed I could manipulate her, by obtaining a reaction. if I do this, she will do that. A cause and effect that never worked out the way I calculated Ė and no matter how I went back over the issue in my head, I could never figure out why not.

So ultimately, I never learned from my mistake, assuming the basic premise was right and that I screwed it up somehow.

I always under estimated her, mistaking her for ignorant while puffing myself own intellectual ego up, taking year to realize I wasnít even in her league.

Now after all this time, I come to realize, I donít know her at all, and perhaps maybe never will, while she knew me from the first day she laid eyes on me, and had me pegged all along for Ė well, maybe not a total fool. But close.


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