Why we won (a Republican victory speech)

 

††††††††††† We won the good fight.

††††††††††† But it hasnít been an easy election.

††††††††††† My opponent pulled no punches and it is virtue of you, my supporters and the voters that saved the day.

††††††††††† In the coming days, you will hear all sorts of ugly things about me out of my opponentís camp.

††††††††††† Donít you believe any of it.

††††††††††† This will be the utterances of sore losers, a candidate who lost not because Iím crooked, but because he is out of touch with the needs and wants of the voting public.

††††††††††† My opponent will tell you that mine was a victory of greed over common good, trying to make my supporters out to be a bunch of rich cats who preferred lower taxes and tighter budgets over giving handouts to lazy, shiftless people through welfare.

††††††††††† This is an insult to all of you who had worked hard to build a good life. Why should we lower our living standards with higher taxes just because someone else wonít get a job?

††††††††††† My opponent will say that I am unfair to the poorer citizens of our community who canít afford to live in the cities where they were born and grew up because we decided to get rid of the slums and develop decent if expensive townhouses instead.

††††††††††† My opponent will claim that because we are rich we have medical benefits we deny the poor, that our children have a better education than most other kids, that we live in better homes, drive better cars, eat better food, dress in better clothing than the poor.

††††††††††† But isnít that what being rich is all about?

††††††††††† While I can sympathize with the plight of the poor, they are not my problem.

††††††††††† Why should we give away our hard earned money? Why shouldnít our kids get better than theirs as a result of our work?

††††††††††† We are in competitions, friends, a rat race for survival, and it would be foolish not for us keep the advantages we have.

††††††††††† You donít see any successful business giving away its goods.

††††††††††† This is a survival of the fittest, and if the poor are fit to survive, they will. If not, well then we shouldnít have to carry their weight.

Most of those who my opponent claims to represent didnít even come out to vote, which, of course, is why we won.

††††††††††† My supporters know which side of the bread their butter is spread.

††††††††††† Yes, it is true that we have most of the better paying jobs, and our kids will get most of the better paying jobs in the future.

††††††††††† No, itís not fair.

††††††††††† But neither is life.

 

 


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