Better than feeling empty

(from Sexual Warfare)


††††††††††† Iím not saying I feel good seeing my man, Bert, making time with that bimbo.

††††††††††† I feel bad about it, especially since all our friends hang out in this dump.

††††††††††† I blame the atmosphere.

††††††††††† People come to clubs like this to get laid, and with Bert being part of the band and all, you bet most girls got their eye on him.

††††††††††† I came here at first for the same reason, thinking that was all I could get.

††††††††††† Meeting Bert changed all that.††

††††††††††† Sure, I got him into the sack. But I found out I loved him, too.

††††††††††† That made me realize just how sad bars like this are, the last gasp for empty people who canít find anything better any place else.

††††††††††† I even tried to drag Bert out of this scene.

††††††††††† But Bert wouldnít budge.

††††††††††† He said he needed his music and this is where his music was.

††††††††††† I knew he didnít want to give up all the sex.

††††††††††† And that made me feel like shit.

††††††††††† I told him it was me or the club, that he was too good to get stuck in a place like this, and he was worth more than all the one-night-stand chicks he insisted on fucking.

††††††††††† If he loved me as much as he said he did, he would give all that up.

††††††††††† I thought he did, too, and I believed him when he saw he had to work late at his day job as much as he said he did.

††††††††††† I didnít suspect the truth, even when I smelled alcohol on him.

††††††††††† But the lipstick on his underwear, I just couldnít ignore.

††††††††††† Later, I learned everybody knew about him hanging out at the club but me.

††††††††††† So I dumped him.

††††††††††† Sure it hurt.

††††††††††† But I thought I could get over missing him easier than having him cheat on me all the time.

††††††††††† And I knew I wouldnít miss all those empty people we used to call friends or the dive where I felt more rat than human.

††††††††††† Then I started to miss him, and every time I met someone, they kept saying how strange things seemed our not being together.

††††††††††† After a while I didnít know which felt worse, being with him or without him.

††††††††††† I felt so empty inside that I crawled back to this place if only to be with people just as empty as I felt.

††††††††††† The minute I saw Bert again, I fell back in love

††††††††††† I figure having him cheat is better than not having him at all.

††††††††††† So here I am.



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