Just say no to ďno smokingĒ


I got every right to kill myself if I want.

All you do-gooders trying to make life as boring as hell by making me safe even from myself.

I like my meat crisp, even though it causes cancer.

So I rip the warning labels off my grill about not eating the burnt parts.

I hate seat belts, too.

And now I have to feel like a criminal each time I climb behind the wheel, thinking some cop somewhere will pull me over and give me a ticket telling me the whole time heís doing it for my own good.


Some crooked politician just wants a little extra on the side and covers it up by passing laws that fine me.

And some of the laws donít even make sense.

While the cops can give me a ticket for listening to my Sony Walkway while I drive, those same cops can ticket me for not wearing a headset if Iím talking on the phone.

Yet of all the laws those sons of bitches have passed, none piss me off nearly as much as telling me where and when I can smoke, and raising the taxes on my cigarettes so I go broke buying them.

They say Iím endangering other peopleís health.

Thatís baloney, too.

If folks donít like my smoke, let them go somewhere where I ainít.

No. Do Gooders got this idea that we smokers ought to cease to exist.

No smoking areas werenít good enough for them. Now non-smokers got to have the whole place to themselves.

So Iím out in the cold, stamping my feet to keep warm, for something thatís mostly legal.

Now I know how my grandfather felt during Prohibition, when do gooders told him he couldnít drink.

Sure I stink from smoking and my car is filled with ashes and butts. So is my house.

And when I wash up at night, it feels as if Iíve been through the sewer.

So what?

Havenít I suffered enough?

Thatís why Iím starting a revolution, declaring independence from any government that would let the do gooders rule the world.

And because the government cares more about where I smoke than the guns I carry, I got plenty of fire power.

Now is anybody with me?


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