You canít trust nobody
Okay, I got no class.
Not like you see art thieve do in the movies.
I just went it, cut the stinking thing out of the frame and stuffed the rolled up work of genius in my jacket.
When the guard yelled for me to stop, I ran.
Now Iím on the street looking for a way to keep the cops from catching me.
Iím not even sure what I meant to do with the canvas when I thought up this get rich quick scheme a week ago.
Hell, Iím better at hocking hot radios than masterpieces.
The only thing I know about art is what I got in art appreciation in high school where I got a D.
In fact, seeing my year book made me think this plan up.
I figured I could get a lot more for something I took from a museum tan I could haul out of peopleís houses.
And I need a vacation.
Sure, people think thieving is easy.
Iím telling you, itís not.
I could get a day labor job thatís easier.
You just get hooked on stealing the way you do on drugs, and canít stop.
I got a warehouse job once.
I hated it so much I quit after one day, then robbed the place the next night.
The canvas scrapes against my side as I walk.
The cop car appears up the street.
The siren sounds.
Some jerk with a badge yells at me to stop or heíll shoot.
He looks like he means it.
So I give up.
No use getting myself killed over a lousy piece of paint.
Later in the jail cell some cop with a lot of gold braids comes in and asks me what I did with the real painting.
I ask what the fuck heís talking about.
He says the one I had is a fake and figured I pulled the switch before they caught me.
Can you imagine?
The picture I snatched from the museum is a fake.
Man, you canít trust anybody these days.