You canít trust nobody


Okay, I got no class.

Not like you see art thieve do in the movies.

I just went it, cut the stinking thing out of the frame and stuffed the rolled up work of genius in my jacket.

When the guard yelled for me to stop, I ran.

Now Iím on the street looking for a way to keep the cops from catching me.

Iím not even sure what I meant to do with the canvas when I thought up this get rich quick scheme a week ago.

Hell, Iím better at hocking hot radios than masterpieces.

The only thing I know about art is what I got in art appreciation in high school where I got a D.

In fact, seeing my year book made me think this plan up.

I figured I could get a lot more for something I took from a museum tan I could haul out of peopleís houses.

And I need a vacation.

Sure, people think thieving is easy.

Iím telling you, itís not.

I could get a day labor job thatís easier.

You just get hooked on stealing the way you do on drugs, and canít stop.

Iíve tried.

I got a warehouse job once.

I hated it so much I quit after one day, then robbed the place the next night.

The canvas scrapes against my side as I walk.

The cop car appears up the street.

The siren sounds.

Some jerk with a badge yells at me to stop or heíll shoot.

He looks like he means it.

So I give up.

No use getting myself killed over a lousy piece of paint.

Later in the jail cell some cop with a lot of gold braids comes in and asks me what I did with the real painting.

I ask what the fuck heís talking about.

He says the one I had is a fake and figured I pulled the switch before they caught me.

Can you imagine?

The picture I snatched from the museum is a fake.

Man, you canít trust anybody these days.



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