Dumbing myself down
Every since I got to this place, men wanted me to tone down, act dumb, stop trying to prove Iím as good as they are when they all know I am.
I hate playing the role of dumb blonde bimbo chick, even when I know it is the only way Iíll ever get a man to like me.
And here I thought college men would be different from high school men, when theyíre not.
As in high school, men here like me right up until I open my mouth, then they hate me.
Hate the way I walk or talk or even the way I smile.
They claim Iím acting superior
Maybe I am.
I like the fact I can do thing well, write as well or better, think as well or better than most men I meet.
I threaten every man I meet, even the men who tell me they really love my mind.
Professors are no better.
They doubt my abilities when I first come to class, then try to make me look foolish do I donít do too well and show them up.
Everything is an inside joke between the professors and the males students in class, each exchanging looks as if to say ďthere she goes again.Ē
Even when the professor wants to take me to bed, he refused to treat me like an equal, thinking he needs to walk me through the mating ritual as if Iíve never done it before.
Most students donít want me as a lover at all, theyíre so scared.
Perhaps they belief if I know so much about everything else, I might embarrass them in bed.
The worst part is how lonely I feel.
And there are times, I admit, when I get so lonely I go out to a bar, get drunk, dumb myself down just enough so I can get laid.